Motivation Monday- {MY} story

So I have decided to do a Motivation Monday, where I share other peoples stories. I haven't had the chance to ask another person to share their story, and it's Monday already, WHAAAAT!?!?, so you get to hear a more extended version of my story! So here we go! Grab the tissues haha, mostly kidding. I'll probably be the only one crying.

So my story starts when I was born, haha ok I won't go that far back. But I am going to go a little bit farther than when I started 21 Day Fix. September, 2012 I became a mother! I had a scheduled cesarean section (mostly, but that's another story) and met my baby girl for the first time. She was perfect!

Everything seemed perfect for the first few days, until we went home from the hospital. I quickly became overwhelmed and fell into a deep depression. She wasn't latching and I was very convinced I wanted to breast feed. This became the first problem that seemed to effect my daughter's and my relationship. I had also gained 70 pounds while I was pregnant. I was stuck at home, a tiny apartment in a tiny town, with a newborn, feeling very overweight and unhappy. The first week my husband stayed home, and it helped, but he got stir crazy and left frequently. The next week, my mom came and stayed with me. The day she left, I bawled like a baby. The next day, I made the short drive to her house and stayed with her for about a month, until my husband decided we would move into their house. We lived there, and I got help with my daughter the first year of her life. I still was depressed and refused help. I lost all the weight by the time she was 18 months. (This is yet another long story, but the point is that I was frustrated that my goal of losing all the weight by the time she was 1 didn't happen.)

Around the time she hit 18 months, I finally felt like myself again, mostly because I was back to pregnancy weight, and all the hormonal stuff had gone away once I was done nursing when she was 13 months. And then, SURPRISE! I found out I was pregnant again. I never thought I would be upset about that, but I was. I cried. I was resentful. And I was scared. I didn't want to go through all of that all over again. So I made plans. I walked 4 miles a day, every day. I prayed I would be happy about another baby. I worked really hard and being happy and positive. I made the most out of my time with just my daughter because I knew things were going to change. I only gained 30 pounds with my second pregnancy.

October 2014, I had my baby boy. He was a BIG boy.

He was nearly 3 pounds heavier than my first. A lot of the issues I had with her, weren't there with him because he was so healthy. He latched on immediately. He slept through the night within his first week of life. I was so happy!

Things actually seemed great for the first few months. He was such a happy, easy baby. My daughter, being only 2, was great with him, and only had jealousy issues here and there. Weight was slowly coming off. I finally hit a plateau when I had 10 pounds of baby weight left. But I was positive I could get it off!

Then, in February, my world got flipped upside down. My brother took his own life one morning, I was the last person he contacted. I felt guilty, and like there was something I could have done differently. I was sad and crushed, and everything just felt so surreal.

I quickly became severely depressed. I couldn't function, couldn't care for my kids without help. I became snappy at my husband. My husband and mom gained up on me and made me go in and get on Zoloft, wow that's hard to share! It seemed to help at first, but I soon started to feel like it wasn't helping enough. 

Then a good friend, and my coach, told me about 21 Day Fix and Shakeology. It took some convincing, and then I tried it. My first week, I felt like my life took a 180. I had energy to clean my house AFTER my 30 minute work out. I stopped being so snappy at my husband and could communicate again without getting defensive. I started playing with my kids again. And my body started changing.

My first round, I lost 7 pounds. I lost even more inches, but I didn't measure (so angry at myself!!)

My second round, I quickly reached my pre-pregnancy weight and was so excited to keep going! I lost more than 12 inches all over my body. I got fit and started seeing definition in my stomach, something I never thought I'd see after my c-section. My arms got thinner, my legs were smaller and stronger. I started loving my body and not just because of how it looked, but because of what it could do!

I'm just finishing my 3rd round, and I think I can safely say this is a program I can do for the rest of my life. I am going to add in other Beachbody programs (Body Beast, Cize, Hip hop abs, whatever I feel like in the moment) to challenge myself, but I will always use the 21 Day fix eating program, either for losing weight or maintenance. Eating clean is such an important thing for our bodies. We deserve to eat better. Eating healthier doesn't have to be bland. I am never starving, I feel like I'm always eating. I love food. 

I hope that my story motivates and inspires you. I'm just a stay at home mom, I play with my kids all day. I make time for ME by working out 30 minutes a day. And I feed my family healthy, delicious food. This is my story.