Friday, September 18, 2015

Be kind.

With September being Suicide prevention month, I have been a lot more open about my personal struggles with depression. If you haven't read anything else on my blog, I lost my brother to suicide this February. He was 17. It kills me that he didn't get to graduate, he will never go on a mission, won't experience college, won't be a husband, or father, won't be a lawyer, he's missing out on so much in this life time.

It is so important to be kind to others. We really don't know what they are struggling with or thinking. People can be amazing liars, fakers, and illusionists. My motto in high school I told myself every day was, "Fake it till you Make it." Because of that I became excellent at smiling when I was really struggling inside. 

 If you, or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, PLEASE seek out help. 

I personally know it's hard to reach out for help, but it's so necessary. After my brother passed, I was really struggling, but also going through postpartum depression. I refused to get help, and my mom and husband forced me to go to the doctor and get on medication. The medication took about 6 weeks to fully integrate into my system, but I started feeling somewhat better before that. I did have to be patient for it to work completely, so if you start taking medication, do NOT stop before that 6 weeks thinking it's not working. I've also recently learned not to go off of it without 1) talking to your doctor and 2) gradually going off them as the doctor sees fit. 

I personally have chosen to take a small dosage and combine other elements to help with my mood. Here's a list of things that help me stay happy and positive:
One thing I have to mention is that when I'm feeling depressed, I just want to stay in bed, I don't want to socialize or basically do anything. My mom has always told me, when you don't feel like doing it, that's when you NEED to do it. That goes for getting up and getting some cleaning done, getting out and going for a walk, talking to a friend, going to an event, whatever. When we need these "mood enhancers" we don't want to do them. The tough part is pushing ourselves do doing them. 

If you have a friend who is constantly flaking out, seems excited about an event and then at the last minute cancels, they might be struggling with depression. If you're a close enough friend, force them to go. I say this cautiously, because when my husband forces me out of my depression usually it's with a lot of yelling, tears, and I literally throw tantrums like my toddler, but I'm so grateful he did later when I feel better. 

Make a list of things that help you feel better, and the next time you're struggling, pick something from the list. I have found that having a paper copy of my list in my nightstand helps a ton! When I struggle to get out of bed, I pull it out, and do something from the list. 

Remember that depression is serious! It's not something to take lightly, and if you think you need help, ask for it. There is nothing wrong with getting the help you need. You don't need to live in a dark lonely cloud. We've been given life to live, to enjoy and have fun. I have lived way too long wishing for something different, and now on the other side, I am so grateful for the help my husband and mom made me get. 

Be kind to others, but even more, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be kind to yourself.

I am not a professional, but if you ever needed someone to talk to, or guidance with finding someone to help, please reach out to me

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