If you're not following me on Facebook, you probably didn't know that I quit coaching with Beachbody. This summer, I felt like I needed to spend more time with my kids and less time working. I took a break. Summer ended and my break kept on going. Mostly because I started getting really sick and didn't feel up to getting back into things. I also had changed my mind about a lot of things. I still firmly believe in the products of Beachbody. I know that if I need to lose weight and tone up, I can count on any Beachbody program. BUT I also believe that working one on one with a trainer, when people can afford it, is even more beneficial. Having someone create a customized meal plan for YOU is also beneficial. Because we aren't all the same. Our bodies all function differently. We all have different likes and dislikes with food. There's food allergies, food sensitivities, troubles digesting certain things, etc. Overall, I felt like there was MORE I could do to help the people I work with. I also feel really strongly like there is more I want to learn and ways in which I would like to grow. I've always wanted to go back to school, so that's the goal.
Aside from feeling like I could do more on my own, I started struggling with my self worth. It sounds silly, and it's 100% not Beachbody's fault in any way. I added a few pounds back on after I reached my goal weight, just normal settling back into a regular routine after finishing a program. I couldn't let it go, though. I started becoming really hard on myself because I couldn't believe that I had let a few pounds back on. Slowly, my binge eating came back. I put on more weight. I beat myself up even more. I stopped putting myself out there because I was embarrassed. I shared a little about my struggles, but I didn't share the whole truth of what was going on. I felt like a fraud, only sharing the good. But who would want to work with me if I was sharing all the negative stuff I had going on? My coach and upline had shared how important it was to express your struggles and be real. The idea of sharing some of the stuff I was going through made me sick to my stomach. I backed off of coaching quite a bit, and tried to work through the issues. I tried to get it together for myself.
It wasn't until I quit coaching, had a summer to just being a mom, and getting pregnant (surprise!) that I realized how hard I was with myself. How much I had loathed my body and my weakness at sticking to any kind of nutrition plan. Everything I had continually tried to say to help others wasn't sinking in for me. Hating my body had ultimately been my undoing.
Now I'm working towards loving myself again. It helps that I'm growing a little baby. There's nothing like watching your body change for another human. But no matter where we are at, we should love our bodies. I have huge goals for getting back into things, becoming certified in nutrition and eventually becoming a personal trainer. My biggest goal is to get back in school and get some type of degree in psychology and find a way to help people with eating disorders because I feel with my experience, I can relate. If anyone can help, I know I can.
I will always be grateful for my experiences with Beachbody, they helped propel me further on my journey to helping others. But I also give myself credit because a lot of my passion was already here, I just needed to find it.