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Monday, December 14, 2015

Love your body

I've seen it over and over again, the picture that says something like, "I wish I was as fat as the last time I thought I was fat." I remember after I had my daughter, I thought about that a lot. If you've read my previous posts, you know that I had an eating disorder while I was in high school and college. If only I had appreciated my body back then. I would have treated it better, and wouldn't have gained so much weight when I got married and during my pregnancy. I started getting super hard and down on myself again. 

While I was nursing, I had a lot of preconceived ideas of how I needed to eat while I nursed, and I couldn't lose any weight. I felt frumpy and uncomfortable in my skin until I stopped nursing. Then, I started going to the gym for at least two hours a day. I started restricting calories. I beat myself up everyday, and worked myself till I was exhausted. I didn't lose much weight. I didn't feel any better about myself. In fact, I felt a whole lot worse about myself than when I was pregnant with a huge belly. 

I finally found a program that helped me lose weight (basically by starving myself and eating prepackaged foods). I lost the rest of my pregnancy weight, but I still felt awful about myself. I continued to belittle myself. The day I found out I was pregnant was a very hard day. I still hadn't reached my goals, and I wasn't planning on getting pregnant for at least another year. I didn't want to gain a ton of weight again. I decided to make a change. 

There's something about growing a baby inside that makes me feel better about myself. I continued to workout at least 5 times a week, and I watched my body grow in a healthier way the second time around. I didn't love myself yet, but I was starting to. 

Fast forward to a few months ago, I had lost even more weight. I weighed less than I did my junior and senior year of high school. I went and got new clothes. I felt better about myself, but things still weren't feeling right. I was so proud of myself, but I still looked in the mirror and saw flaws. I realized that I will always have flaws, nothing can change that. There is no such thing as perfection. But I could love my body anyway. It really made a huge change for me. It helped me look back and love my body even when I was at my heaviest. I appreciated all that my body had been through. 

No matter what we are going through, where our bodies are at, or what our bodies have accomplished, we should love them. Our bodies are gifts from God. I think about my brother who no longer is with us, and think about how I'm sure he wishes he still had his body. 

What good does it do to beat yourself up? What good does it do to belittle yourself, point out every flaw, and hate your body? It does NO good. Absolutely none. In fact, it makes things worse. Believe me, I know. 

Love your body. Care for it. Eat like you love yourself, move like you love yourself. Make good choices for your body. It will make a positive difference. You will eat better, and workout harder if you do it out of love instead of hate. I promise.

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